Feelings
by IwillYURIforYAOI
Summary: Spirk fic. Spock's emotions are waking up and all he wants is for his captain to notice. Jim, however, wants everything to go back to normal. UPDATED TO M RATING FOR REASONS. Completed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This may contain a part two, I haven't decided yet. **

It was becoming increasingly difficult to work with Jim. To Spock, the bond that he and Jim shared was, as his th'y'la would say, as clear as mud, but to the said th'y'la, the bond was as unnoticeable as a changing season on Vulcan.

Spock carried the bond he shared with Jim everywhere he went. He felt Jim in him as he woke in the morning, as he showered in the small space allotted to him, as he dressed in his space-officer blue and pinned the official Starfleet symbol to his sweater. It was so foreign to him, this abundance of feeling in a body that was so used to nothing but logic. Everything felt tingly and unfamiliar, like every nerve ending in his body sparked with emotion that wanted to transfer to his th'y'la. Spock had finally connected with his emotions and now he wanted to do was touch, feel.

But Kirk did not seem to feel the same way. He carried on, businesslike as usual. Or, as businesslike as he usually got – Spock noticed that he continued subtly "making moves" on the women on the ship and all women who visited, but this was to be expected; the two had done nothing but touch hands as Jim dragged Spock across the ship for this or that, and as soon as the captain had touched him, Spock's body went on high-alert, buzzing from the unexpected Vulcan kiss. Spock had yet to bait his emotions – and his libido, another new thing he was discovering about his human half – back down, but Jim continued life unfazed, not even aware what his touch had done to his friend.

_Friend_, Spock sternly reminded himself. _Not th'y'la. Not soulmate. Friend. That's all Jim sees you as._

Kirk noticed something odd going on with Spock. Sure, he was overall relatively strange compared to his small-town upbringing, but he knew when his friend was acting particularly out of the ordinary and when Spock was just being, well, Spock. But this was definitely out of the ordinary. The calm, hands-to-himself Vulcan was found, on multiple occasions, standing a little too close or a little too far away, looking like he wanted to stand a little too close. Jim just waited it out, played it cool, let the Vulcan wear himself out and a) spill the beans and say what he had to say, or b) completely let it go and go back to normal. Jim didn't know which he was hoping for.

It took all of about two weeks for it to come to a head. The captain was just seeing a humanoid alien girl off to her room (she was from a planet that Starfleet had commanded the Enterprise to watch over for a short while) when Bones walked by. He thumped Jim on the shoulder with his fist.

"Hey Bones!" Kirk greeted him happily, his face splitting into a wide smile. The doctor made a small mocking sound which the captain promptly ignored.

"What did you do to Spock?" McCoy asked the captain, immediately wiping the smile off Kirk's face.

"What do you mean?" Jim asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "Is there something seriously wrong with him?"

"Have you _not_ seen him trailing over you like a lovesick puppy for the past few weeks? What did you do to the kid Jim?"

Immediately the captain racked his brain. He knew for a fact that they never slept together (unless he got WAY more drunk on the Andorian Sunsets he'd consumed than he thought), but perhaps there was something thoughtless he'd done recently, something that would cause Spock to react. He realized what it was in a time that was exponentially longer than it should have been – when he'd grabbed Spock by the hand and pulled him across the ship. When he relayed this news to Bones, the doctor did nothing but roll his eyes.

"Dammit Jim, you have to have more respect for other cultures. Just because you grew up in some dirt-ball, low-down-"

"Yeah, yeah, Bones, get on with it." Jim cut off, opting for a sarcastic tone. "Do you, in your professional opinion, have a way that I can get Spock back to normal?"

"Get him off?" Bones suggested.

"Yeah right," Jim snickered.

"I'm not kidding."

"Shit."


	2. Chapter 2

Captain Kirk was not one to draw things out. And so, as soon as he realized what was wrong with Spock, he tracked the Vulcan down to chat.

That was it.

Chat.

Spock had retreated to his room early that night as he wasn't expressly needed in the bridge with the visitors on board. He had intended to shower and fall asleep trying to find Vulcan on the holographic map he'd stolen on a whim, but his plans were shattered when he heard a soft knock on his door.

"Spock?" he heard Kirk call through the metal. Immediately the Vulcan's nerves reacted, singing along to the timbre of his voice. He hit the button to unlock and open the door.

"Hey, Spock," the captain said, looking as if he was going to playfully clap the other man on his shoulder but changed his mind at the last minute. Spock's own hands were clasped tightly behind his back as he carefully avoided eye contact.

A lengthy, very awkward pause followed. How _does_ one bring up that they aren't going to have sex with the other?

"I know what you are going to say," Spock said, "and I will stop."

"I… what?"

"I have been acting strangely. I will do my best to stop and return to my duties."

"That's not why I'm here," Kirk found himself saying. The Vulcan raised one eyebrow quizzically.

"I'm here to… get you off," The captain cleared his throat. He'd never been shy about sex before, and this was to help his friend. Or, at least, that's what he told himself. He continued: "You're acting 'strangely' because of me and it's unfair of me to leave you to handle… well… yourself," (at this, Spock's ears turned a very particular shade of green) "so here I am."

"Captain, I am not sure…"

"Oh, come on Spock!" Jim said, pushing into the room and grabbing the Vulcan's cold hands. Immediately the man's face flushed a deep green and his eyes fluttered shut. When he opened them again, he found his captain leaning over him as he lay flat against his bed. Kirk was currently sucking on Spock's fingers, making shivers of pleasure run through him. Spock was sure he could come on this alone. But Jim continued with his exploration of the Vulcan's body, slowly sliding off Spock's skintight Starfleet-issued pants just enough to expose his weeping member. Kirk released his mouth's hold on Spock's fingers and instead began gently suckling on his cock, so engorged with blood that it looked eerily green.

It only a few minutes before Spock was panting out his release with barely a warning to his captain. Kirk did nothing but seamlessly replace his mouth with his hand and help his friend through his orgasm that way. Spock opened his eyes at the sound of the tap running, Jim retreating to wash his hands. The Vulcan flushed a deep green.

"Well," the captain said, stepping out of the small bathroom, "sorry about that, won't happen again…"

"D-don't worry, Captain," Spock stuttered, watching Jim leave before smirking.

He really needed to grab Kirk's hand by accident more often…

A/N: Not quite the ending I had planned, but with these two you never know…


End file.
